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Miscarriage and Infertility

  • 9 min read

Thousands of women have miscarriage every day. 

The charity Tommy’s say 23 million women miscarry yearly worldwide. (2021 stats) 

Some women are aware of the event while others are oblivious. 

When talking to women of all ages they have their own story of miscarriage or pregnancy issues.  Most will keep it a secret. Unable to explain the extent of emotional loss and grief. What is common is that women appear to have dealt with it, carry on, yet unbeknown to them underlying emotional scars and pain from the event remains in their subconscious. Tainting their life and further pregnancies can be effected by the bonding of mother and child.  The effects of long term grief, emotional loss and sadness, depression and isolation underlies even forty-years after the experience. 

The long term mental and emotional issues around Miscarriage, Termination and Still birth are underestimated and unacknowledged. Volume is mammoth, especially if non pregnancy situations continue to exist. Without resolution. 

Fact is there is no follow up or support for women who have a miscarriage, termination or still birth experience. They are left to their own devices and family to support them through their loss and grief. Some women feel as if they have been in a battle exhausted by the process, clinical with little understanding of the women’s emotional state. Many feel isolated with nowhere to turn. Dread from becoming pregnant again and PTSD of the fear of repetition and loss. Even in 2022 we are emotionally bereft of assistance or professional help.

The experience of miscarriage is physical, emotional, grief, loss and psychological trauma, often vast shock and PTSD symptoms prevail. Unique to each woman who will feel different degrees of trauma.  Some women feel inadequate and a failure from the event. Knocked self-esteem, confidence, inconsolable from the loss is normal. 

Many women do not want to go through this trauma again and walk away from pregnancy. 

Both members of the couple are traumatised via miscarriage and IVF. Men feel out of their depth and unable to help the situation. They feel helpless and strain on relationship can be a factor. Anxiety and depression can effect some couples and trauma around sexual contact after miscarriage may be fearful; non-starter from traumas and associations from previous shock experiences. 

The fact is couples are less fertile these days and conception can be a long road for some relationships. IVF can be a hit and miss affair, with disappointments and undue anxiety within the process. No guarantees, everything can seem perfect yet technician mishaps can interfere with positive outcomes. Even if IVF worked previously it is not a ticket to success second or third time around. Not every couple is as fertile as they think they should be. Stress, guilt, shame and body strain can be underlying factors and outcomes. 

The fertility levels in each of us is different and we receive our fertility from our parents, foetal origins in the womb. We are supplied with the sperm and egg dominance for life. Individual lifestyle can reduce our fertility. 

As explained in Pregnancy and Birth a New Generation. (PBANG). Drink, drugs and medication, poor diet and lacking in exercise, vitamins and minerals are weak body factors.  


https://www.allonus.co.uk/product/pregnancy-birth/

Essentially we need to become fit internally for parenthood.  

I have personally helped and provided solutions for couples who find it a challenge to become pregnant. And pass on my knowledge to other D.A.R.E practitioners in specialist training etc., 

The long term effects of miscarriage are elongated and most women take their grief and hurt to the grave. Unresolved.  Their world has been turned upside down, shock from the unexpected outcomes, trauma remains underlying become accustomed to feeling this way.  The long term mental and emotional issues around miscarriage, termination and still birth are underestimated and unacknowledged. Volume is mammoth, especially if non pregnancy situations continue to exist. With no resolution. 

Nothing has changed since I first wrote about Miscarriage back in 2007 with the launch of my book Pregnancy and Birth a New Generation in 2009. 

Since 2009 the numbers of miscarriages and pregnancy trauma has escalated. There is no support on either side of the coin. Associations and government will say there are systems in place. However, in reality support is sparse, can you find them and how many are effective? Even with counselling the emotional surges exist.  We can rationalise the mind all we want, but it is the hormonal drives that make life uncomfortable and distressing for the majority of women to live with. 

Partners, husbands and lovers will be sympathetic and compassionate about the loss, they too have grief and loss to come to terms with and feel uneducated and unprepared for the emotional surges felt. Both parties are scared for life. Men seem to recover faster than women. What males do not have to deal with is the hormonal surges that come from conception.  

A process has been started from conception or IVF, new life and hormonally a process is actioned, in motion. Even if termination medication is taken. Hormones still exist and will continue with the body process. Women feel all over the place. They cannot function and behaviour will change with the surges of hormonal excretion. Overwrought and overwhelmed in the hormonal cocktail received. It can take months and years to regulate again. Unique outcomes for each woman, dependent upon their natural hormonal balance.   

The reality, a mismatch of unresolved, uncomplete attainment for the body. Physically processes have been started… and did not complete. Women can have all sorts of biochemical misalignments within the body after a miscarriage or termination event. Living with this mismatch can be unbearable as hormonally we are reminded daily of the loss. 

Living shock and underlying trauma we often don’t consciously know what is wrong.  

The majority of parents, carry on with stiff upper lip and push our feelings down and away. No resolution continues. Some find it too distressing to talk about the subject. Others will keep it a secret between themselves. It becomes the elephant in the room. 

Live in no man’s land, on survival and treading water. We live in a war zone emotionally and come home battered and bruised daily! Emotionally drained and out of sync in life.  Out of body, foggy brain, can’t think straight from the level of grief, sadness and trauma underlying. Life goes on and the woman loses herself in the process becoming a shell of her former self. Women are misunderstood from miscarriage and classed as over reacting.  Of course those who say this are not in the hormonal chaos… the victim is! 

It does not matter if you have status, money or not.  What is common is that women leave pregnancy to later life today when it can be tricky to produce, where previous challenging lifestyle choices have prevented a pregnancy smooth passage. 

Joy Wisdom Trust is a not-for-profit organisation that can support women and professionals with education, health improvements and/or therapy with supporting programmes allowing couples to move on with confidence for their next pregnancy bringing positive outcomes. 

When is stress and/or depression around miscarriage it will be a challenge to successful fertility. The Fact is – our body needs support and parents will need to make changes for pregnancy. Physically, emotionally and psychologically. Especially after miscarriage, D.A.R.E therapy can assist to bring balance to systems and biochemical factors to make an inner transition, conversion to good conditioning to success. 

JWT can provide guidance and support throughout to successful parenting journey. All of our systems need to be in balance to produce an infant.  Improving diet and health changes can improve. However, the bigger part of the picture is stress hormone reduction, key to bring and correct to the right health conditions for rebirth. Bringing psychological calm, confidence from body improvements, the body is ready to conceive.

Miscarriage, Termination, Still birth and challenging pregnancies, happens to every status, an individual outcome without answers and solutions to prevent. Or so we are told and believe. There are solutions guidance programmes to prevent, support and turn life around for successful parenthood.  Structure and planning is essential for change. That means for both of the couple.

Education is key. As is the removal of trauma. Learning to be aware of our body and bodies needs. Physical correction can help, alignment and balance of hormonal surges. Help the body to reproduce.. new life successfully.

As Mayleen Klass shared in Newsnight TV programme in 2021. As other celebs and sports personalities continue to share their sad experiences. 

Mayleen was blunt about her experience, several miscarriages and felt a failure as a woman. alone and embarrassed, didn’t know who she was anymore. Loss was incredibly painful and didn’t expect the depth of devastation received after each miscarriage.  

In modern day terms miscarriage for Ms Klass was equivalent shocking outcomes with a mini breakdown after several miscarriages.  Lost herself in the excruciating scenario of fertility.

PTSD is made of this. 

Emma Barnett has also exposed in her article in Time Magazine. 05.2022

After one child from IVF, wanting a second child has proved challenging. Four years later many rounds of IVF, and frozen egg implants failed. Her experience one of a repeated experience.

Having helped couples I know all too well the celebs stories, having heard repeated scenarios. Weary, drained financially as well as physically, psychologically. A shell of life remains for the couple.. with women suffering the most. 

JWT can provide hope. But we need structure and guidance, therapy support to get ready. Education on how to prepare for IVF and smooth pregnancy. What to expect and age is a factor. Sometimes we can’t do this journey on our own. 

We need help and some couples/women need more help than others. 

Please contact for more information or a consultation

We only know what we know until we know differently

Check out website www.joywisdomtrust.org  info@joywisdomtrust.org

Joy wisdom 

Founder Joy Wisdom Trust

05.2022

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